Better Off Then Their Parents

The other day (before Christmas) I heard one of the Kardashians or some other person who is famous for being famous say something like that. But, the way she said it was like she wanted her kid to HAVE more then she has or had. I don't think that is the true meaning of the quote. And it sure isn't what I want for my kids.

Let me tell you about my first Christmas. The first one I remember, anyway.

I was around six years old. I did not get up early as a child and my stepmother, Beth woke me up. Or rather she bellowed from the living room for me to come out of my room. I was groggy and slightly confused. I remember walking down the hall, rubbing my eyes and suddenly my father was yelling at me. Yelling that I did not appreciate all that he did for me and that I needed to get back to my room and "DON'T COME OUT TILL YOU CAN SHOW SOME APPRECIATION!"

The following year there is a picture of me holding my hand to my chest gasping. I can see that picture in my minds eye as clear as if it were taken yesterday. I remember not seeing anything that morning, as I was just as groggy as the prior year. I surely was not going to get yelled at the same way I did last year. So I faked it.

As a child I walked on egg shells. I was always worried about getting yelled at or worse.

As a parent I try so hard to have patience. I am working daily on it.


I want my kids to have more then I had as a child. Not more stuff. Not more possessions. I want them to have more love, more understanding, more respect! I don't want them to have to experience a lot of the things I experienced and know they could careless about the material things, at least right now anyway.

Short Order Cook?

I always said I would never be one of "those moms". You know the ones. They make a meal for the grown-up and then a meal for little Timmy, cause he doesn't like green beans. Another meal for Jessica, cause she only eats white food. By the time mom actually sits down to eat her meal is cold and she is alone at the table.

Not only is this bad for the kids because it is teaching them that if they complain enough about something mom will fix it. It just reinforces bad behavior. My other issue with it is that it limits the kids palette. I love food and want my kids to love food like I do. If they are only exposed to foods they "think" they like then they will never get to enjoy all the flavors that different cultures have to offer. Oh and Im kind of lazy and selfish. I dont want to make 3 different meals and I want to eat with my family at meal time. (btw, that last sentence was a joke/sarcasm.)

This morning however I was one of them. I now can see how it can happen. It started innocently enough. I heated up some of our dinner from last night to give the girls for breakfast this morning. (It was this breakfast bake I make that is yummy) Emerson and Avery really had no idea I was doing that. Emerson came running in the kitchen and excitedly asked for oatmeal. I told her I was heating up some of the dinner from last night and she melted down. Suddenly in my head, I am justifying making her the oatmeal. "I should have given them a choice, cause I rarely give them choices for breakfast or at meal time period. It's not that big of a deal to make some oatmeal..." so I made the oatmeal. She happily ran into the other room with it. Then Avery came in. "I want cereal, mama." "um..ok..." so I made her cereal. Again my justification was the same as before with the added, "I gave Emerson what she wanted I cant NOT give Avery what she requested."

Guess what happened next? Emerson came running into the kitchen asking for cereal... yes, in the end they both ended up eating cold cereal for breakfast and I made 3 yes THREE different breakfasts.

What did I learn today?
I need to start giving them more choices for the good stuff too. I tend to give choices for the bad stuff and that works, but they need to be able to make choices for the good stuff as well. "Those Moms" are all of us. It can happen to anyone, innocently enough.

Positive Parenting Rubs Off

So just when you think your kids aren't paying attention to anything you do or say, something happens to make you realize you were sooooo wrong!


Today we went to visit a sick friend of the girls. He isn't contagious so we thought we would give him some entertainment while he is house bound.


While there Emerson and he were playing independently beside each other and Emerson reached over and took something that was in his play area. It really pissed him off so he got a little aggressive and was trying to take it back from her. She was acting as if he did not exist. He mom removed him from the situation and told him to go apologize to Emerson. He promptly walked over to the toys and started winging them at Emerson. She still just sat there playing as if nothing was happening. I assumed she was unaware of what was gong on. His mom picked him up again and made him sit with her for a few moments then told him to go say he was sorry. This time he walked over and said, "Im sorry." and Emerson said, "ok."

She knew the whole time what was going on and she was ignoring his bad behavior. Funny thing is it did not occur to me that that was what she was doing till the other mom pointed out, "she's doing what you do. Ignoring the bad behavior."

She did not lash out at him, she did not even leave the room. He was not hurting her, so she just sat there and acted as if he was not even in the room.